Fresh Tweets We Stole From the Bird App (September 17, 2022)

Ada Elder

Sep 17, 2022 4:00 PM EDT

Back in seventh grade I didn't have many friends. Another thing I lacked was any kind of allowance. My mom gave me $1 a day for school lunch, while the other kids were able to walk around the neighborhood with five big ones, buying pizza or doughnuts for their lunch. Some girls would even make the trek to CVS or Rite Aid and spend their ample "lunch" money on makeup.

Because I wasn't blessed with cash, I started stealing. First I stole ice cream from the crowded delis at lunch hour. Then it was makeup. And I wasn't even stealing it for myself. I stole little gifts for the girls in my class in the hopes that they'd want to be my friend if I gave them the latest mascara or lip gloss. And while it kinda worked, eventually I was caught while Sheryl Crow's "Soak Up the Sun" played over the store's crappy speakers. I cried. And cried. And for some reason the store manager took pity on me and let me go. I didn't steal (much) after that.

While stealing makeup as a teenager may have been chill for a while, nowadays I mostly steal memes and tweets, to share with the likes of you. I'm like the Robin Hood of content. And here's our latest batch of pilfered tweets. You're welcome.

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01

via @s4m31p4n
02

via @ginnyhogan_
03

via @Tha_MikeB_Show
04

via @yeehaw_me
05

via @misterperry
06

via @HybridOriginal_
07

via @EricTrillman_
08

via @blanketboat
09

via @motleycruedetat
10

via @Ke7inBurke
11

via @sleepynbitchy
12

via @jamiekilstein
13

via @maybeeevirgo
14

via @Shufflersunite
15

via @tahrajirari
16

via @dadmann_
17

via @dionnewarwick
18

via @AmericasComic
19

via @itsnashflynn
20

via @christmarxist
21

via @SortaBad
22

via @johnsemley3000
23

via @zachsilberberg

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Fresh Tweets We Stole From the Bird App (September 17, 2022)

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